combining two household...with strings attached

We married 1 yr ago, 3rd for both of us. A lot of his things are from his "late" wife. I want to be fair...but we live in 'their' home and I so want it to be 'ours'. We have doubles of a lot of things but mine are so much nicer.

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Shelly's Comments

I can relate! I married the love of my life 2 years ago, January 25th. We both had been married before and both of us had houses full of stuff!

My recommendations are: (1) Communicate (2) Be sensitive and (3) Take your time

My husband & I sat down during our engagement and began to discuss what we wanted to do about our "things." We agreed we wanted a "new to us" home, so we put both houses on the market at the same time. We then discussed whose lawn mower, washer/dryer, etc. we wanted to keep. We had garage sales at both houses to reduce the extra items and used the money to offset the cost of moving. I put many of my things in storage and moved into his home until we were able to locate and purchase the new home.

We both had items that neither one of us particularly cared for, but wanted to keep. We communicated about it and allowed each other to keep the most important things, but agreed to pare down the clutter. We managed to incorporate them into the new home decor and they blend well.

I believe that people are more important than "things," but putting each other's needs first will go a long way to a beautiful relationship.

I hope this was helpful. If you want further (specific) advice, you might want to use the "Contact Me" page.

Congratulations and best wishes for a happy marriage!

Shelly